"...things like love...what is that really? A very basic word and I have little concept of it. I see and experience the love that people give me and the love I give others, but what a shallow understanding of it when you place it in contrast to Agape love. I think if we could begin to experience and understand that at the core of who we are, we could begin to live in the truth and life that God had planned for us. I am missing the good life. I wish I could be in the midst of anything and be truly filled with peace and joy simply because I was resting in God's love. But what thick barriers I have set up to keep myself from it. I wish everything of life didn't matter. I would love to be at the place where no matter what was going on in my life I would live in eternal hope. I don't know if any of this makes sense, I have just found myself frustrated at my inability to experience God as he would want us to."
-Janice Line March 03, 2004
It's been over a year since I wrote that. Be careful what you pray... this has been a hard summer and an even harder transition from summer into school. So much has gone on that I am not going to record it here...if you want to know about it e-mail me and we can talk about it. I just found out yesterday that my mom has cancer. It is possible it may only be stage one, but there is a possiblity that it has moved into stage two. I am already dealing with my hardest summer yet, a transition away from my summer community, a transition way from my year round community, a transition way from my best friend (who will be two states away, so dang far), and a transition back into school after a two year hiatus. A lot going on...I am overwhelmed. Eternal hope...I want to be there. This summer God revealed to me who I am. Simply put, I am who I say I am. I am a follower of Christ. I really am. I would seek Him to lead and guide my life. There is the revelation and now here is the test; Can I live in my identity off of the mountain? When we live out of who we are hope will undoubtably come from it. So here I go...
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4 comments:
janice...i love you friend. i wish i could be with you to love on you like you are my sister in Christ. i might even rub your belly :) you are precious. your mom is in His hands and you know that. i hope and pray that w/ all the transitions you would be at peace with the one who not only made you, but knows you better than you'll ever know yourself and who knows your every need and will meet them!! i love you Janice Line and I miss you. tears were shed when you left..... you are dear to me!
hmm-
I am excited for you to come up to Spokane. We will have to have a nice long chat in person about all of this, and fill each other in on what is going on in our lives. Much like it was over a year ago on a mountain top far far away.
See you soon.
Thank you guys. Your support means a lot right now.
Janice~
My friend I adore you so much. I miss you too. Hang in there through the transitions it will be worth it. I love you so much and will pray for you and your family!
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