Thoughts

I have found myself very frustrated lately with the absence of peace in my life. I have found myself far from God. How did I get way over here? How do I get back? The initial reaction would be more quiet times, more prayer, more time in the word, more time talking about Jesus, but even there I find myself cringing as all of the things I named off are works. How can I get closer to Jesus by "doing" things. That's not how it's supposed to work...is it? I do this and therefore Christ will do that. My desire to get close to him came because first his desire was to get close to me. I responded to him isn't that how it works. We respond to Christ who loved us first. What does it even mean being close to God? It's not a feeling although many times I have been overwhelmed when I have met with God. It can't be a knowledge because there are many people in hell who tried that. They knew too much of him and not him. Perhaps closeness with God resides in hope. A knowing, but not a knowledge of God things to come. Maybe I am not as far from God as I think. Maybe I have simply forgotten the hope I know I have. Time to listen. Jesus reveal yourself to me so that I may hear your voice..."The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice John 10:2-4)...